So you think you can handle a red, white, and blue striped USA sleeveless blazer? You thoroughly believe you can tame the authority of this American flag sleeveless jacket? If you’re already questioning yourself, look elsewhere. If you’ve never shot a Whisker Biscuit out of your bunghole, you can’t handle this. Don’t know what a Honkey Lighter is? You may not be fit for this USA blazer. If you’ve never felt the G-force of a Whistling’ Bunghole leave the very palm from which you feed yourself from, you cannot harness the power of this sleeveless blazer.

If you’ve done any of the above, buyer beware. Your life is about to change into a world filled with the wildest farmer tans. You may find yourself developing a deep southern draw upon purchase. Your hair may only grow in the back now, leaving the front for business. You may wake up one day and realize you've only been buying “Ice” beers since this panty dropper landed at your door.

If you think you can handle this, then you may proceed to check out. Welcome to the club.